Debb's Christian Share Page

 

I didn't know how, I was going to go to church again. I just thought the worst. Then the phone rang and it was my friend from church. I ended up, explaining the whole situation to her and she said, "Oh Debbie, this is such a break through for you, I am so happy. I mean its horrible going through all of this, but I'm so happy for you". I got of the phone and thought, she understood. She doesn't hate me. I was just so very thankful to God, for bringing me, such good friends. I was so thankfu,l for all the friends I had made, since becoming a Christian.

I also realized, that apart from my friend, who new me before I became a Christian, I had never really come out and said to any one, that my marriage was not good. I realized that I had been trying to cover up the truth, in that area as well. It felt good, to finally, be able to just say, "my marriage was terrible for along time" and not feel ashamed, or condemned by that. For the first time, I felt, that I might finally get through all this, thanks to God. He showed me that I have great friends, who were already helping, to lead me in a new direction in life. I felt so much hope for my life, this great life in God.

As the week went on, I started to lose my sense of direction. At one point I tried to hang on to my ex-husband again, but that was no longer an alternative, for me. It just didn't work. It was over, so instead, I walked around with out a direction.

I went to bed one night and started talking to God. My heart wasn't in it; instead, it was on me, my own needs. I then had a picture of me stumbling around blindfolded, not knowing where I was going, or what I was doing. Then, I heard God say, that it was okay, that I was blindfolded, because he was watching me and could see and he would make sure I was safe. Then something very un-expected happened; I saw a picture of a tarot card, the six or eight of swords. There was a woman, bound with a blindfold on and there were six or eight swords surrounding her. I knew that the card was representing me. It was amazing how clearly, I could read the card. I thought, when I was involved in the New Age, I didn't see that clearly. I became confused and asked Jesus to come near, but he didn't. He was not in this vision at all.

I knew, that not all of this was from God. I thought that may-be the first part was, when God said, he would keep me safe. I decided to read some of my bible. I opened up to Jeremiah and started to read. A passage jumped out of the page at me Jere 23:16 The Lord Almighty said to the people of Jerusalem, "do not listen to what the prophets say, they are filling you with false hopes. They tell you what they have imagined and not what I have said"

I awoke the next day and I was still confused about it. I knew something wasn't right. In the end, I started to doubt all my experiences with God. Was I still following a false God, or what?